Malaysian thinking or .....

Why Malaysian’s have this concept...

I’m throwing a party for my kiddo’s, it’s my prerogative who I’m inviting …betul tak ? I don’t understand la … kenapa kalau aku invite … “A” aku kena invite “B” lak … suka hati aku la … mcm orng buat wedding kat hotel ke …tmpt exclusive … it’s expensive … n they won’t invite the entire clan … they’ll just invite the elders kan… nak jaga hati orng sgt ..pocket sendiri yg kopak…

Dis time I had enough… I’m not giving in … I’ll invite who ever I feel like inviting.
Ada a few cousins, nephew & nieces yg ada anak kecik … I nak invite them but … ppl are questioning why them … wht about their mother , father … grandmother …wah…wah…. Ini mcm tauke balak pun bankrupt la … Sebenarnya ..if you are not invited pun what’s the big deal …

I’ve made up my mind … and I’m going with my instinct and with sincerity … I’m inviting them!

Happy 5th Birthday to Rizq & 4th Birthday to Arra !

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Hipokrit City

Ha …dis is not Restaurant City but Hipokrit City ! Never knew it exists till I actually worked in the political office ( typical ) 9-5am job. I guess these things happen but I never realize cos I believe… when we are honest and sincere we expect others to be to … well dats not what it is … It can really “HURT” when you actually find out that it’s all part of the show ( basically acting je .. ). Not only feeling unsecured to be walking home alone … ( takut kena ragut..ke .. u know desperado dis days )…but also feel the same way about choosing the right circle of friends…scary doh… they not only sleep in your blanket they step you hidup-hidup..! Sometimes I wonder will this meet justice. It’s just like the saying “The poor Get’s poorer… The rich gets richer” …Be it la …work place …relatives this ppl exist okey …reality bites …I know ! Double standard … materialistic …plastic ..u name it … I’ve meet them & still meeting one everyday. Somethings ..ya betul …we say things like “hmm… Nice cake that u baked … Konon nak jaga hati kawan .. Fine with me ” but unbelievable if you start asking a person HOW ARE YOU TODAY ? but at the same time u just walking thru without even stopping and looking in the eye of the person you speaking to … so wht the hack you asking for !!!

I’ll be 33 in sept’ I’ve walked along the walked …. I’ve seen ppl with masked all around me … it’s even worst thn “The Survivor” . When you’re UP they think the world of you …busuk pun boleh jadi wangi … but when you’re DOWN … they avoid you …jgn kata nak call Tanya khabar …kita call to keep in touch …they think we calling to ask for their RM…well,I don’t know if you can take that to the after life…it’s most hurtful if they are related to you ! Sama la … kalau kita ada family members yg terjebak dgn drugs ke …. We stay away …avoid them …look at them so JIJIK …. So wht do you think orng kt luar fikir pasal orng ni ? Patut kita family … we are supposed to be the strength to help one another bukan KUTUK lagi …. Ni tak … DAh jatuh …DI timpa pulak ! I’m sorry … I always have this feeling that a family should always be able to sit , pray, laugh , cry together share all the memorable occasions …but when dah ada conflict of interest … it’s SAD la … tu la … jangan kata The BIG PICTURE … sedangkan our siblings pun belum tentu suma suka makan IKAN ! When ppl asked me “How many siblings do you have” reaction “ WOW …. Ramainya.. Yup reality! But when it comes to understanding 3 out of 8 pun belum tentu…I believe kalau ada siblings aku yg baca ni pun …muka dah herot berot… well.. aftr MA passaway it became even worst …We can hardly agree on one color.R.E.S.P.E.C.T yg MA ajar suma da TER… KUBUR! Lessons learn! I will only stand by my promise to MA selagi mampu …I hope with all this It will help me sharpen the saw … and continue my Journey as A GOOD WIFE & BE THE BEST MOTHER to the kiddo’s .. .


Salam…

Sun Set to Sun Rise

Funny, how the journey moves in a circle from sunset to sunrise. As I remember my yester years, Sun set’s in and I’m ready to paint the town “RED”. That’s what days were like…hmm… How Sky was the limit for me ..as my bro Don says : “For you Nie Sky is the Limit” well… Those days are gone. ..
All that’s left is just memories …. Some I’d like to remember …some I’d like to erase (if there’s a special eraser …hahahah..) some better left unsaid. Something’s that I’m passionate about ( like singing ) I miss the stage once in awhile but if I have to choose life rite now I’d rather be with “RIRAZIRA” .
I must say, this journey is rarely different from the other routes… (I guess) everyone has their own share and this is my path. I Thank GOD for loving me …and giving me the opportunity to live again!
9th February 1999 I was born again in the name of ISLAM …. It was the time I saw everything PURE & SIMPLE. Having my BONDA & Fairy God Father witness my destiny of FAITH is one of my momentous experiences of my life…
I am happy and proud I made the right pronouncement. One step at the time … A few little baby steps … and I fell of course! Like wearing the TUDUNG … I drastically made the decision to wear the TUDUNG and found that I was not ready… so I seek to understand than to be understood .Now I made my vows and I’ll stand by it.
Now im saying ALOHA to sunrise … and goodnite to sunset ! It’s totally a different culture rite now( PPL Say : When in ROME…do what the roman’s do … ) First was a bit hard to adapt bangun pagi all dat but I needed the change so paksa la …Okey … new environment … meet new faces … walk the different path…. It’s reality of life … in the broad day light… it’s not easy .. but it’s the journey ….
The time has arrive, sounds of The KOMPANG … ke pak …ke bum…ke pah ke bum…ceh… See I told ya...God Loves me … funny how the journey had to take the long way…no highway or express MRR 2… Faith was right in front of my nose just round the city (KgB lagi.. ) ha ..so hari raya bolah balik kampung …mana? Kampung Baru !( So far ..hehehe…. ) The man of my life… the person who I choose to live with and continue this journey…
We settled down in 2003 … and look what life has to offer us … We definitely took the express way . .. We not wasting any more time …We are blessed with four adorable kiddo’s and The Journey continues …..

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Time flies ...

It’s funny how a cup of coffee can change your view or even make your day!
Yup ..yup.. I certainly feel incomplete without having a cup in the morning.

Woh .. time flies … each days passes so quickly until I didn’t even notice … my son Rizq is about to turn five this coming 21st june. My late mom has always reminded me to celebrate birthdays …be it the 1st 5th 12th 16th 21st and personally i choose 33rd 40th( For men ) woman don’t usually wanna celebrate 40th b’day BIG ..kan..kan…hahaha…
Then the BIG 50th 55th 64th 72nd 77th and every year of 80’s if we ever get there …insyallah… with good health. Amin.

Well, Rizq wants to have his frens over for his birthday with a BEN 10 concept …haa.. typical boys… thingy . I’m not approving anything yet , I’m tired of organizing parties at the moment but when I think of Ma I just don’t have the heart to not celebrate the occasion .He also wants to move in his own room now.I guess i got to let GO a few things now .He is such a big boy, he is so matured, takes care of his siblings, clean his play room, calls me up every once in awhile …report …report … what happened during the day … thinking of those sleepless nite’s , time he had chicken pox WOW…that was tough and how I cried looking at him barring the pain …funny how a “Mickey balloon” worked to ease his pain ! Rizq, went to a playschool when he was 3++ so cute at that time. We took him for “Open Day” 3different play schools … o...boy I must say... He knew where to call home and make himself comfortable. 5years seems too fast, my prince became a KUYA when he actually turns 1year one week and so on …year after year …siblings after siblings..wakakkaa…

MOHD RIZQ HAIKAL BIN MOHD FARID - 21st JUNE 2004

GAVE ME A NEW TITLE ...& THE JOURNEY CONTINUES...

Queen of my heart

Woke up and finally found that I couldn’t hear your voice, touch your hand or be in your arms ….
I have realized it is the voice of the angel. I must be strong now I mustn’t break down. I have lost a listener the shelter of all times! You own the strongest strength one can have. Yes Ma, You really did!
You are the queen of my heart! I Miss you so so much. It’s indescribable feeling (Only God Knows).
You’ll never know, until you lose them. Cherish every moment you have with the one you love.

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